I let you go in shivasana Part I

Damn.. So I’m moving through my poses reflecting on Ponder’s writings..You know “receive” “release” “prophecies”, “eliminating all that no longer serves me”… going through my mantras while struggling to maintain warrior 3 pose.  All the while I should be ignoring the chatter in my head that keeps me off balance.  You know I’ve been trying to release you for months. But there you are, stuck to me like fly paper! Then I go into Yosarian mode.. you know,  Catch 22? , and I start thinking:  If I let you go does that mean “nothing is too good to be true”?nothing is too good to happen”?,  and nothing is too good to last”?.  Can I manifest the very best in my life and… well, I think I know the answer to this question… Still, I find myself using the “Word”… casually uttering my desires,  mentally casting my desires out there, deliberatley casting them out.  So I took a risk and, while in shivansana, I opened my hands towards the sky, felt cosmic energy that brought tears to my eyes and said “I bless you and release you in peace”. As I walked out the door to the yoga studio I said “Goodbye X”. (I thought you would like that place) Then promptly got into my car and began to bend my mind around the cycles of just how to have my cake and eat it, too.   Jeez, this thing is tough!  All of the times I invited your soul to meet mine so we could have closure and untie the chord from our hearts that keep us connected, I cried with peace and relief. Then you came back.  I asked spirit to do the work for me, (since I’m obviously too invested here), and I cried with peace and relief.  But here you are again……….My manifester is not working on all cylinders obviously.  Maybe you’re keeping me stuck to you.  So I have request…either get back here or let me go.  Yeah, I’m scared..(that was supposed to be eliminated with all the other things no longer useful in my life). Still feels like my right arm is being ripped from my body.  Maybe Spirit will send me a prince to kiss, (just a make-out session) to break your spell.

Knock from your perfect soul place if you can hear me.

The Violin

We dreamt about each other for months.   Today I met her.  A raggedy rental, but none the less beautiful in my eyes.  I wanted to immediately take her out, here her cry and softly polish her.  No, she’s not mine really, but I think were going to like our new  journey together.  She cries, I cry. What more can I ask from her but to sooth my sadness with her silky sounds.   I look forward to getting to know her better.  I look forward to letting her get to know me.